i get really happy when it’s not me who starts the conversation because that removes so much anxiety about whether i’m bothering the person or if they secretly hate me even if i know that’s not true 

thernardier:

“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes